The Spartacus Workout sounds like something you should finish by overthrowing the Roman Empire.
When Captain Plum and his friend first attempted it, they managed two or three exercises. The Empire could relax.
There were ten exercises in a round. You were supposed to complete three rounds. Somewhere on the screen, an impossibly energetic person was demonstrating what came next while two actual human beings reconsidered their afternoon.
They came back. They’ve been coming back for fifteen years.
Your turn. Thank goodness.
At first, they shared one set of weights and took turns. This provided a welcome recovery period and the reassuring sight of somebody else having a difficult time.
Eventually, they acquired a second set. Both could now exercise simultaneously. An equipment upgrade with a regrettable reduction in sitting down.
Over the years, they built up to all three rounds. The people doing those first two or three exercises had become people who could finish the workout. They had each been there to watch it happen.
Plum still regards this as his main exercise. He says it has consistently helped him feel healthy and in shape. And there has always been a friend in the room.
Borrow a little determination
Some days you want to exercise. Some days you discover an urgent need to inspect your phone while sitting very still.
A friend changes the afternoon. You’ve arranged to meet. He’s making the effort. You get yourself there, and once you’ve started, you usually find you can do something.
Between you, there’s often enough determination to get going. You encourage each other, witness each other’s progress, and occasionally exchange the sort of look that means, Surely this minute has been longer than other minutes.
Fifteen years gives those looks a considerable vocabulary.
For fifteen years, Plum has offered a scientific explanation whenever the weights feel unusually heavy. “The gravitational constant G is up today.” He half believes it. After all, the dumbbells weigh exactly what they weighed last week. Clearly the universe has changed.
Walking the dog
While he exercises, Plum often marvels that he belongs to a wondrous animal species. There’s a long history of climbing, running and walking in this body currently negotiating with a dumbbell. He calls exercise “walking the dog.”
Imagine a dog you dearly love. You’d give it food, water, rest, play and a chance to stretch its legs. Plum asks himself to extend that same kindness to his own body. “Take it for a walk, dude.” The dog has been answering emails all day.
Sometimes that kindness means changing the plan. The Vitalogue recalls a day when his friend arrived tired, so they took the e-bikes to the harbour instead. They caught a cruise ship leaving and came home cheerful. The dog approved.
A Vitan lesson, with dumbbells
Order is arranging the time and keeping it.
Truth is admitting what you can manage today. Two exercises? Start there. A lighter weight? Pick it up.
Love is making the effort for someone whose company you value. You want your friend healthy. You want more years of conversation, laughter and shared afternoons. So you help each other do something that takes effort.
Friendship can include asking, “Are we still on for our workout?”
For Sparks considering a start
Plum gives the workout a thumbs-up. Its squatting, lunging, pushing and pulling movements get different parts of the body working together. There’s plenty to practise before worrying about keeping pace with the video.
Choose a friend and arrange a regular time. Begin with a few movements you can control, use manageable weights, and take the breaks you need. Build up gradually as the movements become comfortable. Arrange the next session while your friend is still there.
Plum and his friend began with two or three exercises and one set of weights. They’ve had fifteen years to improve the equipment, the stamina and presumably the complaints.
The invitation has stayed wonderfully simple.
“Same time next week?”
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